Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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