it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
