For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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