OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
