it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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