She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
