Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
please don't ironically join a cult
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