HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
