i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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