who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
