Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
