mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
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