Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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