all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
