I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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