If i come over, it means nothing
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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