your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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