I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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