Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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