i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
