hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I can't put those talents on a resume
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
