You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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