In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
