he thought i was a dude.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
