so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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