After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
