She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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