So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Randomize
