dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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