it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
