So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
