I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
