Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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