You're my little dorito
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
