He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
