I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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