No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
