So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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