Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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