lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
