So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
