just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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