that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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