Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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