Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
