is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
