got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
