well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
