So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
