she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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