Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
