So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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